the emptiness is filling me

sometimes i just need some attention
sometimes i just need some concern
i hate how it feels.
i guess thats why i'm always trying to cheer people up.
whether i'm still sad or happy.
just don't like others to feel like there's no one for them.
i'm not who i am no more


i hate this i hate this
in every dream i have i say i'm not in love with you but everyday i say i do

study study what the fuck is wrong with me
ahhh fuck

Goodbye my lover...

In the midst of mst a student,wakes up at night.
only to find his past year's papers crumpled.
his room was in a mess.
he thought "what the f**k"
whose in here!?
then out of nowhere " RWARRRRR!!!"
he jumped backed in shock.
an image begin materialising....

what is it?
what can it be?
to be continued...


ok i'm bored.
mst is fine so far flunk one confirm.
the other not so sure
hahaha like i'm 2/4 in shit alr
2 more days to go to see how much shit i'm in ;)



Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

caught in my own prison

everything i do
the words i write and say
the emotions i feel
the thoughts i have
it just seems to create a wall of judgement around me
it feels like i'm losing myself to the reflections of the walls
i never thought that even a small feeling could put me in such a situation
caught in my own prison
living the life sentence
it seems to me that my past will never let go.
willing unwilling
i never ever thought that you would even go
this prison's making me blind from the harsh reality of life


hohoho finished band camp like finally
nothing much happened nothing really interesting
Mst is still not really done.
and clar choir must practise i need a bass clarinet=s

o well

First things first, i'm tired of the cynics and presumptuous people . Had enough.

Fake friends. if people wanna be pessimistic about their friends, the relationship between themselves and others seriously i can't do a thing but then without the minimum trust how can you work with others?
When it comes to friends i'll like to give my trust to them.see if i get theirs back.if some how i get betrayed or the person is not what i expect to be. its like o well.a fifty fifty chance
we have to build that trust i think its really important.
Don't build a wall around yourself .Don't change yourself and how you think because of what people say.Think about it
this part is for you know who


kkaes next part

FUCKS( the italics can't change)
finally its ok anyway,
if its in the past leave it in the past
if its in the past but ur still thinking bout it
3 questions : Is it worth it?
How is it gonna be different?
most importantly are you gonna be happy
i'm sure you would get over it some how
if not you'll always have a fren in me ^^


down down


Each one of us is tied to something in one way or another.
a bondage whether we like it or not.for it we'll do what we never think we'll do
swallow the pride.work for it.and what not
i want to be free though

"But life still goes on
I cant get used to living without living without
Living without you by my side
I dont want to live alone hey
God knows got to make it on my own
So baby cant you see
Ive got to break free" from queen

cheer up.
cheer up.
each one one
cheer up. one for me
;)

i'm off

UPDATE

Holiday for the past week so not much stuff bout school.
i've been a healthy boy for the past few days.exercising=s
yesterday i was on the court.good to see so many old friends and school mates, some from primary school even=s
after toasting myself in the sun when to kovan to play lan
was quit pissed off at one point during the game so i kept banging the mouse ok tht sounds wrong =p
then the uncle dude put a popup on all our comps.. " bang mouse dun let me hear.no refund.and you guys can get the fuck out of my shop".
fierce sia lols
vern was like dun bang mouse bang his mom.
anyway that uncle dude is always trying to be a fucker.
then we went to eat.
as usual after eating we went to our usual spot and sat like banglas =X
we were talking bout.
what will happen if malaysia attacks sgp.
then we started many jokes bout
"o they got tankers fighter jets what not, but they no money to buy fuel"
there were more bullshit then this but if i posted it here. you'll probably see me in the papers=p
today
was damn boring game the whole day i needa start studying opps





I walk with the crowd, alone,
Unseen, or am I imagining?
it's easy keep hiding at home
Still healing

I teach myself how to stay calm
When they wish to behold me
They may, take and divide my time
The secret, no one told me...

Like creatures of the night, they follow...
Bearing the wrong side
Is hard for me sometimes

This need I still can recognize
To swim in the oceans of vanity
Some of us enjoy the rain
Choir: and thunder

For me all the shadows are bright
I'm burning in the starlight and I
Hope to feel light as a kite
And fly towards the twilight of my life

Like creatures of the night, they follow...
Bearing the wrong side
Is hard for me sometimes
And now they

have disappointed my broken heart
I'm dancing, they're demanding
The unknown and innocent days are gone
Taken without asking

Safe, further away,
I'll disappear like a mountain without a trace
They tied a knot on my life
It gets tighter when I try to hide.

"They live like the vultures, for a filthy anecdote
They go thru my bones to find just one odd note
I welcomed them kindly, thus they have the right
To leave me in darkness with my shattered heart"

A face of a newly wedded clown
Doesn’t offer you the high
Now you're lower than the poor souls you feed

Built the walls out of silence
I will not be taken there anymore
What is wrong with your eyes?
Sad for the right reasons?
I'll show you the ashes of life

No empathy behind your eyes
Sleeping like an angel every night

I don't feel Safe,
Can’t disappear without getting my last embrace
They tied a knot on my life
It gets tighter when I try to hide.

Safe, further away,
Can’t disappear without getting my last embrace
Once the time finally comes
Will they dig me up from my unmarked grave?


i'm healing;)
but opps
it follows


Get well soon XXXXXX ;)

A song to tell you how i feel right now

Remember when we use to look how sun sets far away
And how you said "This is never over"?
I believed your everyword. I guess you did it too
But now you say "Hey, let's think this over"

You take my hand and pull me next to you, so close to you
I have a feeling do don't how the words
I found one for you, kissed your cheek, said bye and walk away
Don't look back 'cause I am crying

I remember little things you hardly ever do
Tell me why I don't know why it's over
I remember shooting stars, the walk we took that night
I hope your wish came true; mine betrayed me

You let my hand go, and you faked a smile for me
I have a feeling you don't know what to do
I look deep in your eyes, hesitate a while
Why are you crying?

Tallulah, it's easier to live alone than fear the time it's over
Tallulah, find the words and talk to me, oh, Tallulah
This could be... Heaven

I see you walking hand in hand with long-haired drummer of the band
In love with her, or so it seems, he's dancing with my beauty queen
Don't even dare to say you "Hi"
Still swallowing the goodbye
But I know the feeling it's still alive, still alive...

I lost my patience once, so do you punish me now?
I'll always love you, no matter what you do
I'll win you back for me if you give me a chance
But there is one thing you must understand:

Tallulah, it's easier to live alone than fear the time it's over
Tallulah, find the words and talk to me, oh, Tallulah
This could be...

Tallulah, it's easier to live alone than fear the time it's over
Tallulah, find the words and talk to me, oh, Tallulah
This could be...



Emostuff o well one post up =s

clean

its official. i'm s****e.
keep thinking bout the past to what avail
it never seems to fade the colours still fresh
every scene every picture every memory
my heart yearns but reality hits me in the gut
its all the best for your future.a future without me



well looking on the brighter side of things...
today was a freaking fun day..
lab test over!
and we went for a ride.marcus kelvin yong cun zhi jian and me.
first stop was business block
well nothing much there. or "cais"
then on the way down yong cun start drawing the windows down on the passenger side to say hi to the girls
then they all dare me to wave to the girls outside and i happened to see fang yu
then i wave to fangyu she wave back and laugh or smile.
then they all say "you got so powerful mehs".
lols
next we decided to drive to NP quite boring since they having exams=s
Gems was as usual boring..
went for alittle self prac after that.
then
reality punched me in the face

You've got a problem

2b/22 was being an ass of a class today
everyone was shooting here and there.
so well...fun what

well band was good.it kinda sounds better and improve
i'm so glad and proud of mabel
girl u can be so good when u want to keep it up!
And yy the ever caring section leader
thanks for helping everyone to improve.
i am pissed though
why for every one good thing there must be a bad thing
well, everyone is trying their best i don't see why some people should not be even trying.
We can help each other but if you refuse we can't do anything.
there shouldn't be an ego problem accept that . So what if you did accomplish something "difficult" in the past no big shit right.
there is always something more to it more to whatever you accomplished.
yy taught me that.
and for those people who talk only but no action. check urself if u think ur like that please change automatically dun wait till someone has to tell you it maybe too late for you and the section.
i'm not perfect and i'm not good either.but i still think most importantly we have to try
look at mabel perfect example
i'm thankful for the section and hope you fellow sectionmates are.
lets work hard.

we try so hard to no avail
we wish for it
hoped for it
it never came
if only the feelings in the
pictures remained the same
my freedom my feelings my pain
to much for me to pay
it will be the same i hope
but i guess
it'll nvr will
cos the problem's ain't over,its never over
till the day that we have changed

You've got a problem

monday.

monday today is just like any other monday.
which is a not so good day for people like me.
and people who dread going to school.
it normally starts off with me trying to get up early*handphone rings for alarm*
i heard a sound.
an irritating sound.so i flip my handphone and press the red button.
sleep.
*handphone rings again*
this would normally be 15 minutes later but still early if i went to school.so i flip my phone and press the red button
sleep.
*handphone rings for the freaking third time*
well this third time is normally the time i would wake since i will only set 3 alarms the night before but i don't wake instead this happens
i press the red button,menu,organizer, set alarm for another 15 minutes
sleep.
*handphone rings again*
this time i press the red button
get out of my bed
and damn i'm gonna be late
so i rush
and sure enough i'll be late for school.
well its a monday thing ;)

look who's back ;)

i have a fren called XXXXXXthegreat ( not who u all think hor...sorry jeanna if ur reading this cos its not u ;) )
retarded aunty turdy but cute
i consider this person to be trustworthy.
never fail to cheer me up when i'm emo and shit.
so thankew^^

Sp band clarinet section
i'm blessed for being able to be part of this section
lets work hard for the upcoming festival!

i've always wondered how people can actually have so many things to blog about la
like for me today i woke up eat sleep and shit...but how can they have so much description in between that.for example" i woke up..then i felt hungry so i went to eat.after eating i felt like sleeping so i slept.then the food inside my stomach was digested so i felt like shitting and i shat.
"
for me thats already alot of details...but then again if no details people also don't wanna read right
ok wtf am i talking about.
anyway guess i'll be blogging more often since i settled that google account bullshit
cya ppl ard if there are any=X